Many women struggle with overeating and use food to help curb negative emotions. Wine, chocolate, sugar, and other sweet treats beckon and promise a momentary relief.
But once the “food rush” wears off, they’re left with the very same emotional problems—plus a self-defeating sense of guilt.
Of course, many women understand that food doesn’t help resolve “negative” emotions like fear, resentment, anger, or stress—but they still find themselves helpless, using sugar or alcohol as a coping mechanism for emotions that feel intolerable.
Without help, some women even develop a food addiction.
What most women do when they feel strong negative emotions:
· Feel guilty about overeating.
· Gain weight.
· Repeat the cycle.
What you can do to be successful:
Break the chain.
Control food addiction by controlling your stress.
Here’s what psychologies recommend:
“With this exercise, you assume that eating is just the last link in a chain that stretches into your past.
It might feel like you’re hungry now… but is it really hunger?
Maybe you walked past a good-smelling bakery 15 minutes ago and forgot about that. Or maybe something stressful happened this morning. So, link by link, working backwards along the chain of events, start asking yourself questions:
‘What was I doing just now? What was I thinking? Where was I?’
Oftentimes you can uncover the source of negative emotions.”
And what do you do with those negative emotions once you uncover them?
You embrace them.
“If you’re feeling angry or hurt or stressed, give yourself five minutes to be REALLY MAD inside your body,”.
“Feel the emotion in your body, but try not to over-intellectualize them in your brain. Grit your teeth. Make “grrr” sounds. Squinch your face. Do whatever it takes. And after those five minutes are up, release that ball of anger and let it float away.”
If you ever find yourself struggling with mysterious hunger and feel like you just really want to eat an entire chocolate bar, psychologist has a few more tips to help:
1. Begin by assuming some thought, belief, and/or emotion is driving this urge, even if you don’t yet know what it is.
2. Look for where your emotions are in your body. “Scan” your body from head to toe, observing any signals or physical feelings you notice.
3. Observe only. Don’t analyse. Right now you are gathering information.
4. Wait. Don’t rush to explain things with your immediate response, e.g.“Oh it must be my mother issues because blah blah blah” or “Oh, it must be because I had no protein and only 20 grams of carbs.” If the answer pops up quickly, that’s your brain. Your body is slow and quiet with its signals. You must wait. At least 30 seconds, ideally 60.
5. Remember that emotions can feel like hunger. Yes, it’s weird. But so is an elephant’s trunk. And Nature has made both of these things possible.
6. Don’t “should” yourself or rush to judge the feelings. Let them come even though they seem stupid. Just be a little distance away from yourself and observe, like an anthropologist with a clipboard.
7. If you feel a feeling, ask yourself how the situation you’re in might relate to a perceived threat to your own identity and values. Ask yourself, politely and conversationally, “Oh, OK, that seems important to you? Why?”
8. When you get a response (again, wait — the body is slow), ask some more. “What’s that all about? Why is that important?” Keep asking, then wait and watch the body’s response. It’s like playing the getting warmer-getting colder game. “Is it this? Hmm, no. Is it that? Ah yes, that seems more significant.”
9. Give yourself a few minutes to experience whatever emotions you’re experiencing. Check your watch if you need to, and allocate five minutes to this project. Unlike houseplants, ignoring feelings doesn’t make them go away. You might as well turn and face them. Roll around in the mud with the feelings for a few minutes. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re angry, chomp your jaw and growl like a pissed-off baboon. If you’re anxious, run or do tabata work out!
10. Work backwards along the “chain” for more clues. What were you doing just before you felt this? Who was with you? What was happening? What about an hour ago? This morning?
11. Take 10 deep breaths. Exhale using a slow 5-count. Try to empty your lungs completely. If necessary, release the emotion you’ve been sitting with. Just let it float off, like a soap bubble.
12. Once you’re done, notice whether your hunger has changed. If so, how? If not, how not?
If you can’t find a private place to do this (e.g. you’re at work, at home with kids running around), sneak off to the bathroom. If you keep the bathroom fan running, nobody will hear you whispering Grrrr!!!!